Half my brain has melted out my ears and dripped down my body onto the floor. With the remaining 50%, I stood up, immediately slipped on the puddle of goop, and damaged most of what was left. So... let's say I'm writing this with the remaining
I woke up this morning at 6am to my cat vomiting on me (party), so then I had to get up, hand-pick wet food chunks off my quilt, throw it in the laundry, and take a shower. People with kids might be like, "Girl, you don't even
Getting older is waking up one morning at 4am and randomly thinking, "I wonder what happened to the kids from "Bug Juice," Disney's late 90s/early aughts reality tv show about teens and tweens at summer camp." After a brief Google, I realized that
We're now at the point in summer where I wake up daily willing it to end. I'm sick of 90 degrees and 70% humidity. I walked around the city in a long skirt the other day and by the time I got to my train, it
If Emily Gilmore met Meredith Blake, would she:
a) try inducting her into the DAR
b) give her the Shira Huntzberger treatment
c) poison her martini
d) set her up with Jason Stiles
This bitch is like Sherry Tinsdale and Bethenny Frankel combined. Present-day Meredith attended Jeff Bezos's
In the slightly altered words of Michael Scott, "Well, happy birthday, America. Sorry your party's so lame." July 3 will go down as one of the saddest days in US history thanks to Cheeto's megabill that the spineless, sycophantic Republicans jammed through the House
Since I live in the Hudson Valley, I'm within 3 hours of many literary landmarks. The ones I care about most are in Massachusetts:
* Edith Wharton's house (The Mount)
* Emily Dickinson's house
* All the houses in Concord (mostly Louisa May Alcott's Orchard
I'm going to cool it on the weather talk lest I resurface memories of forced politesse in the office kitchen with that weirdo who loves posting unhinged "insights" on LinkedIn and, inexplicably, has power over your career advancement. You don't want to jeopardize your
This week sucks dick. Brian Wilson, Sly Stone, and Pippa Scott died; Trump deployed active duty troops to LA; Senator Alex Padilla was assaulted for asking a fucking question at puppy killer Kristi Noem's press conference; Israel attacked Iran. The list goes on! None of it is even
Tragically, I think hot weather is here to stay. I'm writing this on Thursday morning when it's already 75 degrees at 8 am. For the rest of the spring/summer, you'll find me inside an air-conditioned room, eating SnackWell's and smoking a
This has been the rainiest, coldest May in recent memory, and I fucking LOVE it. I don't want it to get hot; the sunshine is not my friend. I want a spring/summer that feels like autumn. Not one of those autumns where it's regularly 80
I got home from Brimfield last Friday and slept for twelve hours. Nothing makes me feel my age quite like trudging around muddy fields all day in the blazing sun. I don't understand how, in my twenties, I did shit like this every weekend on three hours of
