Directing and writing credits:
Directed by Dennis Erdman, written by Joan Binder Weiss. The most notable credit on Erdman's resume is for "Running with Scissors," the "Sex and the City" episode where Natasha finds out that Big and Carrie are lying/cheating assholes and Miranda is sexully attracted to a sandwich (Miranda 4 ever).

This is the last episode of "GG" written by Weiss, although she's credited as the executive story editor up through the end of Season 2. You may also remember her as the writer of the following episodes:

  • "Love and War and Snow" - Snow gives Lorelai an orgasm, Rory is a bad friend, Luke is an old softie who gets his heart broken, and Emily and Richard eat frozen pizza.
  • "Paris is Burning" - Paris's mom is a dick, there aren't enough townies, and Max lies about who taught him to make osso buco.
  • "Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Stragers - If you were on Team Dean and didn't rethink your loyalties after watching this shitstorm of an episode, you are dead to me.
  • "P.S. I Lo..." - Rory is a sad/angry bitch, Max inserts himself where he doesn't belong, and Lorelai flirts so hard with Luke that she makes multiple people uncomfortable.

Weiss also wrote the episode of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" where Bob Vila makes a cameo appearance.

Most batshit crazy outfit:
I typically try not to post screenshots from Netflix because they're a grainy mess, but look at this fucking shirt that Lorelai wears to the Chilton booster club meeting:

Lorelai-s-Racist-Shirt-Like-Mother-Like-Daughter

It's a mess of fake lace, sparkle, and racist wtf-ery. Someone needs to douse it in kerosene and give Lorelai a stern lecture on cultural appropriation. As the seasons progress, it only becomes worse. Remember the episode in Season 7 ("That's What You Get, Folks, for Makin' Whoopee") when Rory's Asia trip gets cancelled and Lorelai decides to make "crazy Asia" for her? Yeah. That could have been prevented if someone intervened at this crucial moment.

Most irritating Rory or Lorelai moment:
I HATE when Lorelai grills Luke about his conversation with Ava at the fashion show.

Lorelai: Yesterday I saw you talking to Ava, you know, she's in my booster club?
Luke: Yeah, I know who she is.
Lorelai: Oh, good. Well, good. So anyhow, I saw you guys talking alone and it seemed kind of private, and she mentioned earlier that you didn't make her, you know, gag, so I just figured you guys were making some sort of plans to hang out. And see, the thing is, I just think it would be a little weird if you started dating a Chilton mom. Look, I know I have no right to say anything to you, but it's just, um, if you did date her, well, I'm in the Booster Club with her, which means that I'll hear things, and I don't know, it's just, I'd like to keep that Chilton life separate from my Stars Hollow life, so if there's any way that you could not date her, that would be really great.

After Luke calls her out and explains that a) his personal life is none of her business and b) he was just giving Ava directions, Lorelai STILL doesn't apologize. She tells him his directions are bullshit and storms out of the diner. This behavior isn't cute and it's something LG really needs to discuss in therapy.

It's also hella disrespectful for Lorelai to call Michel, ask him for a favor, then continuously ask him to hold while she deals with Rory's bullshit.

Number of times Rory or Lorelai treat their bff like shit:
This is the second episode in a row with minimal Lane and Sookie interactions.

Best literary or pop culture references:
Francie: Well, no one has proof. It's just folklore.
Ivy: Like Snow White and Rose Red.
Francie: Or Mariah Carey's crack-up.
Lem: Have you heard her fan message recently? She's fine and is currently staring at a really beautiful rainbow.

I forgot all about Mariah Carey's "Glitter" breakdown and fell into a black hole of articles after Francie mentioned it. I think the tl;dr is that Tommy Mottola is pond scum and the entertainment business is a brutal place for women. I wholeheartedly agree with Mariah on this statement:

All I know is I just want one day off when I can go swimming and look at rainbows and like eat ice cream.

Me too, Mariah 🌈🍦🦋.

Stars Hollow weirdness:
Kirk is now a mechanic, and reveals "I carried a duffel bag and ate lunch by myself my entire school career, and I turned out just fine." In Season 6, we find out that Kirk has managed to save a quarter of a million dollars for a down payment on the Twickham house, so according to our capitalist society, he's not wrong.

Sharpest insult or one-liner:
Rory: You look like Nancy Reagan.

Emily-and-Lorelai-Fashion-Show-Like-Mother-Like-Daughter-Gilmore-Girls

Nancy-Reagan-Red-Suit-1

Nancy Reagan loved a sharp red suit and even wore one to her own funeral. First lady style is typically boring and conservative (minus Michelle Obama and I guess Jackie Kennedy), so I would consider a comparison to any of them an insult.

Books mentioned/books Rory is reading:
Rory finally reads some shit in this episode! Good job, Rory. These are the books that Rory tries desperately to shove into her backpack:

  • "Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay" by Nancy Milford
  • "The Sound and the Fury" by William Faulkner
  • "The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000" by Gore Vidal

Rory reads "The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty" by Eudora Welty when she sits on the couch and waits for her "kidnappers" to arrive. When Headmaster Charleston busts her for bell ringing, she mentions "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" by Rebecca Wells.

Best song of the episode:
"Know Your Onion" by The Shins. Rory listens to this song on her Walkman when the guidance counselor (who is OMG BLACK!) startles her and requests a meeting. The Shins actually make a cameo appearance on "GG" in Season 4 ("Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin' the Twist").

Thoughts:
If my (hypothetical) daughter's private school told me I wasn't participating enough in parent organizations, I would remind them how much I pay them and tell them to fuck off forever. I don't think any amount of shaming could guilt me into hanging out with the women from the booster club. Ava, aka Mary Alice Young from "Desperate Housewives," is the most tolerable of the bunch, but even she makes obnoxious, tone-deaf comments. She also fetishizes Luke in a way that makes me, and obviously Lorelai, uncomfortable.

Ava: Him.
Lorelai: Who?
Ava: There, man with tools, who is that?
Lorelai: Oh, that's Luke.
Ava: Luke, I like Luke.
Lorelai: What?
Ava: Oh, he's adorable. And he looks strong, is he strong?
Lorelai: Oh I don't know. I don't think he's gonna be in a sideshow anytime soon, but he can get the lid off a pickle jar.
Ava: Is he single?
Lorelai: Well, uh yeah, he is single.
Ava: What kind of women does he like?
Lorelai: I don't know, ones with heads. You know, I don't really know what Luke's taste in women is.

We know what kind of porn Ava likes... no question. She should get together with Marilyn, Lorelai's cousin who is obsessed with banging a gardener.

Marilyn-Gilmore-Girls
Marion Ross also plays Richard's mom, Trix.

It's distasteful for Ava to openly salivate over Luke at a function for her daughter's school, but it's straight-up contemptible for Lorelai to then grill him over his interaction with Ava and tell him she'd prefer if he didn't date her. What the hell, Lorelai? I don't understand how she's so in denial over her crush on Luke and her jealousy over his potential date. If I were Luke, I would have found Ava's number and asked her out just to spite Lorelai.

While Lorelai deals with booster club bs, Rory discusses homecoming and other riveting topics with the Puffs, Chilton's secret sorority run by Francie, a character the "GG" writers whip out when they're completely devoid of ideas and need to waste time. As the show progresses and Rory moves on to Yale, The Life and Death Brigade replaces the Puffs (and other Chilton nonsense) as the new writers' room crutch. If I were watching this show as it aired, I probably would have tuned out after two boring episodes in a row ("Presenting Lorelai Gilmore" is another tedious episode). I refuse to believe any viewer is on the edge of her seat, wondering about whether or not Rory gets suspended for ringing a fucking bell.

The only good part of this episode is Emily and her adorable runway walk. Girls just wanna have fun, dammit.

Random observations:

  • The outfits in this episode are truly atrocious. I've never understood Rory's obsession with tiny, ill-fitting cardigan sweaters or Lorelai's preference for ruffled work shirts. Someone (ahem, Emily) should have nominated this mother-daughter duo for "What Not to Wear."
  • I can't fault Lorelai for her Barry Manilow obsession. I played Copacabana in 9th grade jazz band and was a bit of a Fanilow.
  • Like Rory, I used to panic about not having enough books with me at any given time. When I have a premature hunchback, I'll know it's thanks to my years spent lugging around a 20 pound backpack in my youth.
  • Rory drinks Hansen's Soda every day at lunch - product placement?
  • The Puffs throw away entire lunches when the bell rings. Why do TV shows insist on this fuckery? Just make their trays mostly empty whenever the scene starts!
  • Black people in this episode: Emily's maid and Rory's guidance counselor. This has to be a "Gilmore Girls" record.
  • The women in the booster club terrify me.
  • Francie is one of the worst characters in the "Gilmore Girls" universe. Emily Bergl isn't a bad actress, but I've hated her in everything because I can't separate her from Francie.
  • The Season 2 and 3 Chilton episodes are some of the most boring, pointless, poorly written nonsense of the entire series. I guess those storylines are the inevitable by-product of a 22 episode season for a show with a 40+ minute runtime.
  • My nighttime looks are on par with Paris's:

Paris-Pajamas-Like-Mother-Like-Daughter-Gilmore-Girls

  • The brown, jeweled pants that Lorelai wears to Friday night dinner also make an appearance during Lorelai and Max's double-date with Dean and Rory in "Red Light on the Wedding Night." This is the kind of shit I've started to notice after watching these episodes countless times.
  • I'm sad we never see the girl at the end of the episode again. If I found someone in high school who liked to read with me at lunch, I would have solified that friendship ASAP.