Directing and writing credits:
"I'm OK, You're OK" is directed by Lee Shallat Chemel, written by Keith Eisner. Chemel was last seen in "Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too," the episode that marked the beginning of the end for Lane Kim. Let's all take a moment of silence to think about how much better her life would be if that grunting pile of day old nachos had stayed on the periphery.

Eisner wrote "Welcome to the Dollhouse," an earlier S6 episode that I find forgettable aside from the Birkin bag. "I'm OK" is slightly more memorable, mainly because of Paris' dialogue in the opening sequence.

Most batshit crazy outfit:
Anna's tit nearly pops out of her ill-fitting, vaguely Asian-inspired shirt and yet, she has the gall to talk a customer out of purchasing a sequin top at her junk store. Does this bitch think she's Joan Rivers? No one needs fashion opinions from a person selling shirts that say "Your boyfriend wants me."

I see a nip slip in her future.

It's likewise unfortunate that the customer in question is a bigger woman who is essentially being told that she shouldn't wear anything fun. She doesn't even ask for an opinion! When she walks out of the fitting room, Anna swiftly vetoes all shiny options and shoves a boring black t-shirt into her arms. With this shitty attitude, I don't understand how she makes enough money from the store to shrug off child support for twelve years. Like all stores in and around Stars Hollow, I assume it survives via money laundering.

I hope this woman tore Anna a new asshole in her Yelp review.

Most irritating Rory or Lorelai moment:
I hate myself for semi-defending Logan two episodes in a row, but Rory's passive aggressiveness is unacceptable. She should have taken a note out of Paris' book and aired some legitimate grievances rather than pretending everything is fine. Rory instantly folds after Logan's lawyerly apology for the bridesmaids transgressions, compartmentalizing her feelings instead of honoring them. This is what happens when you have a parent who doesn't teach you how to identify, process, and share your emotions.

Rory, blind to the parallels in her own life, recognizes her mom's similarly problematic approach with Luke. Lorelai feigns nonchalance with the April arrangement, but anyone paying attention can see that the exclusion kills her. Explaining this to Luke shouldn't be a big deal, but Lorelai is deep in denial and refuses to admit that she's curious about Anna. Will the Gilmores ever learn that pretending to be OK doesn't actually make a person OK?

Hooray for generational personality flaws!

Number of times Rory or Lorelai treat their BFF like shit:
As much as I hate it, Rory's positive reaction to Lane's engagement news probably makes her a good friend. Had Lane come at her with less excitement, she could have casually asked if Zack ever apologized for sabotaging Hep Alien with his small-penis syndrome. Unless specifically asked, I would never crush a friend's happiness by telling them that their soon-to-be husband is likely suffering from lead poisoning.

Lane ... you in danger, girl.

Lorelai is back on her bullshit, ordering Sookie to whip up food at a moment's notice and then getting pissed if it doesn't fit her specifications. Sookie somehow thought that Lorelai was asking for pregnancy craving snacks when she really wanted a meal to serve her visiting parents. It's one of those exchanges that is written for laughs but doesn't hold up to light scrutiny. If Sookie thought that Lorelai was announcing a pregnancy, she would have dropped the phone, screamed, and accidentally concussed at least two kitchen employees with erratic frying pan gesticulations.

Best literary or pop culture references:
Lorelai bitches about the idiocy of "Final Destination 3" and then later suggests that she and Rory rent the earlier installments in the series. This does not surprise me because once you watch someone get shot in the head with a nail gun, you can't rest until seeing what else death has in store.

Why yes, that is the guy from "Smart House" and "The Luck of the Irish."

Stars Hollow weirdness:
Kirk is testing out a new realtor career that involves referring to himself in the third person as he prattles on douchily via bluetooth headset. Without asking for permission, he posts up at the Dragonfly, which he says is ideal since he's going for the "young, virile eye candy angle" and might need a place to bang some "lonely widows and aging divorcées" (if Lulu approves).

The rest of the townies are absent, but we learn that Miss Patty thinks Anna Nardini was legendary femme fatale, Mata Hari, in a former life. This episode seems like it's angling for a Luke/Anna/Lorelai love triangle that never comes to fruition. Anna's beauty is mentioned by other townies (and Rory) too many times for it not to mean something. Instead of becoming a romantic threat to Lorelai, Anna turns into a raging bitch, hellbent on keeping Luke away from April in S7. Going forward, it's a domino effect of unfortunate decisions.

"Nothing good starts with, 'Kirk was in here today.'"

Sharpest insult or one-liner:
To offset her brokeness, Paris should offer a service where people can hire her to verbally berate their enemies. It's what you use when you hate someone too much to only send them a singing telegram. If she can serve up this spiciness off the cuff, imagine what she could do with some preparation. After regaling Logan with common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases, she goes for the jugular.

"You, Logan Huntzberger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund. You offer nothing to women or the world in general. If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer."

The only thing missing from this diatribe is a line about how his father wishes he had never been born.

"No one invited you in. Get out right now before I go Bonaduce on your ass."

Books mentioned/books Rory is reading:
There are a stack of books near the doorway in Paris' apartment, but the only titles I can clearly make out are Kevin Henkes' "Chrysanthemum" and Olivia Goldsmith's "Flavor of the Month," which was last seen in "The Perfect Dress."

Lorelai references "Charlotte's Web" when she requests that Luke move her shower spider "someplace shady, [with] shelter from the elements and, ideally, near a talking pig." At least the writers didn't toss in a billionth "Annie Hall" reference.

Best song of the episode:
By default, I guess it has to be "Side Streets" by Saint Etienne, which Anna plays at her shop. When I was in grad school, I worked at a boutique in Brooklyn called Teddy. It was owned by this demanding woman who loved listening to bossa nova and would get pissed when the employees played anything that deviated too significantly. There were several occasions where I was warned to cool it with The Replacements, which I used to play from my 8tracks profile. Memories!

This is one of those filler episodes where nothing happens to move the plot forward and the hijinks aren't zany enough to hold my (sober) interest. It starts strong, with Rory and Paris rekindling their friendship over Chinese food.

I appreciate that despite the dramatic editorship change and subsequent eviction, these two are able to move past everything, united in their brief hatred of men. I have no qualms about Paris and tapestry coat-clad Doyle getting back together immediately. Their fight seemed superficial and was probably motivated by Paris' lack of sleep/late night "Saw II" viewings. Rory and Logan, however, should have taken time apart to work through some shit. Had she created a pro/con list before deciding to go home with him, it might have dissuaded her. I imagine it would have looked something like this:   

Pro Con
Money Rich people nonsense
Turbo syphilis
Confused by the clitoris
Daddy issues
Doesn't own clothes that fit
Penis-related insecurities
Getting DiCaprio'd at twenty-five

I would rather listen to Paris and Doyle's Krav Maga sex moans than sleep in the same bed with someone who disgusts me. If I'm being generous, maybe Rory thought she'd be able to move past the bridesmaids but is beginning to realize she's not that evolved. In any case, leaving with Logan and affirming that everything is OK between them reeks of disingenuousness.

Neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship this serious.

Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai pulls the same nonsense with Luke. It's all friendly spider banter until he mentions that April has invited him to chaperone her math team's trip to Philadelphia. Lorelai's face immediately falls, but she feigns happiness that the part of Luke's life she has nothing to do with is going so well. I get that Lorelai is afraid of losing Luke, but what kind of relationship does she have if she can't even tell her fiancé that his actions hurt her feelings? It's like she wants him to organically invite her involvement, but that's never going to happen. Luke is the type of person who would willingly choose severance because he's not equipped to handle multiple complex emotions concurrently.

This face says it all.

When Rory unexpectedly arrives at the diner, she and Lorelai are in similar states of denial. Lorelai is surprised to hear that Logan's bridesmaids infidelity was a misunderstanding and everything is now "fine." She doesn't press Rory on this, still scarred from their (easily avoidable) separation earlier in the season, but clocks it as troubling. While everything initially seems fine with Luke, s'mores chef extraordinaire, weirdness crops up during Lane's engagement announcement. Luke was there when Zack proposed but somehow "forgot" to tell Lorelai about it. It seems more likely that he neglected to mention it because he knew it would make Lorelai sad, reminding her of their indefinitely postponed engagement.

In an attempt to involve herself in Luke's upcoming trip, Lorelai offers to take him shopping for new luggage. The bag he has is an old-ass army duffle that he tries (and fails) to repair himself. It would be so easy to throw Lorelai a bone by allowing her to buy him something new, but he declines her offer. Later, when Rory sees a luggage catalog at Lorelai's and learns about the trip, she starts asking questions about April and Anna. Lorelai remains adamant that she has no interest in crossing Luke's boundaries, but Rory decides to do some reconnaissance work at Anna's Woodbridge store.

Ok, sorry ... it's not even a catalog, but a luggage sale circled in the newspaper, which is an even flimsier conversational premise.

Lorelai has every right to be mad at Rory for showing up at the store and foisting information upon her that she doesn't want to hear. If Lorelai wants Anna to remain a mystery, that's her prerogative. Rory doesn't exactly approach this situation with empathy or understanding, either. She's annoyed with her own passive behavior and instead of dealing with it, refocuses it onto Lorelai. Because other women "threatened" her relationship with Logan, she believes the same must be true of Anna and Luke. Unlike Logan, Luke has never been one to cheat on a partner or try to fuck away sadness. His big character flaw is emotional ineptness, not insatiable horniness.

But of course, Lorelai is insecure in the relationship and vulnerable to suggestion. Once Rory reveals that Luke's new luggage is probably from Anna's shop, Lorelai asks him about it and is presented with yet another piece of information she must convince herself is "fine."

Anyone who actually knows Luke would not have bought him this bag.

After ignoring his calls during the Stars Hollow visit, Rory is confronted by Logan back at the apartment. She makes up a nonsense story about forgetting her phone charger, which lets him know in a roundabout way that no matter how many times she assures him they're "fine," they most certainly are not. I hope Logan's breakup fuck fest was a good one, because I have a feeling that Rory's vagina is on strike for the foreseeable future.

Another notable development in this episode is Emily and Richard's house search. Although the "realtor-trainee/client privilege is sacrosanct," Kirk reveals that the elder Gilmores have been looking at single-family Tudors in Stars Hollow. I expected Lorelai to grill them for information during the impromptu, evil German supercomputer-induced dinner at her house, but it was fairly uneventful. Emily got in some digs regarding the remodel, but ultimately complimented Lorelai, noting that the house feels "homey" and seems like a good place for her and Luke.

"Who knew that 3 hours and 14 minutes could go by so fast? Well, I certainly didn't."

The only thing I have to say about the episode's other B story is that I will never forgive Mrs. Kim for bringing "what's the big commotion" into our lives. If hell exists, that song is what plays 24/7 over the loudspeaker. It sounds nothing like "early Kinks meets the Jam meets the Futureheads," the Dave Clark Five, or Ray Davies. It sounds like ear poison. It's the song you play at the end of a dinner party when you desperately want everyone to get the fuck out of your house. I hate it, I hate Zack, and I hate myself for getting roped into this never-ending "Gilmore Girls" rewatch project that is only going to get bleaker going forward.

Random observations:

  • How much money did Tumi luggage pay for two mentions this season? Is this pop culture relevancy or spon con? I need to know.
  • Rory claims to not know that Yale has a lacrosse team, apparently forgetting about those tryout articles she wrote for the Yale Daily News during her freshman year.
  • Can you imagine being legally bound to someone who makes comments like, "Nothing is gayer than a sock drawer"? This is what happens when marriage is prerequisite for sex.
  • Please note the lamp with flames drawn on the shade in Lane, Zack, and Brian's apartment. Someone must have burned one down and decided it was time for an arts and crafts project.
Cool Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks poster, though.
  • Lorelai describes the perfume that Luke bought her as a "cross between Love's Baby Soft and Curious by Britney Spears, with just a hint of Lysol thrown in." That sounds exactly like Glow by Jennifer Lopez, my 10th grade BFF's signature scent. (Mine was Ralph by Ralph Lauren.)
  • The suit of armor in Logan's apartment tells you everything you need to know about him. You know that John Waters quote, "If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them"? Owning a suit of armor is an even bigger red flag than a home without books.
  • What in the actual fuck is this creepy picture in Lorelai's entryway? It looks like some vaguely biblical scene with two floating babies: one immersed in clouds, the other holding a bird.
Lorelai has the worst taste in art.
  • If Emily is too good for generic drugs, I can't imagine she'd enjoying picking through a dead people castoffs at an estate sale.
  • The Lindsay Lohan Vanity Fair cover Lorelai references is iconic! It came out before "A Prairie Home Companion," which I found disappointing at the time but should probably rewatch. And speaking of LiLo, I'm happy to see her looking so healthy in this Life in Looks video for Vogue.