Directing and writing credits:
"But I'm a Gilmore!" is directed by Michael Zinberg, written by Amy Sherman-Palladino. Zinberg is no stranger to the show, having directed the previous episodes:

  • "Afterboom" - GIVE LANE KIM A GOOD LOVE INTEREST, YOU COWARDS.
  • "But Not As Cute As Pushkin" - The phrase "fro-yo social" is unfortunately used multiple times.
  • "Pulp Friction" - We don't get to see it, but a character apparently dresses up like Harvey Weinstein. Cool, cool, cool.

I don't have any ASP news for you, but I would implore everyone to read this piece by Thulasi Seshan on issues with Asian American representation in "GG." She writes, "I love this show without ceding my pride, and I find comfort in it without dismissing its present-day implications. Despite finding inspiration, love, and safety in a white feminist show, as a woman of color in the United States, I am forced to navigate around the shades of complexity ingrained in all of the ways white women like Lorelai Gilmore can harm us." "

Most batshit crazy outfit:
Let's switch it up and focus first on the clear best outfit:

Nanny (Soledad St. Hilaire) has magic healing balm and dope t-shirts.

As for the worst, well ... Rory wears a frumpy denim skirt with her beloved tan fishnets out to lunch with Logan; however, she is battling a hangover, so I feel some sympathy for her bad wardrobe choices. I battled my last hangover in 2017 at the City Island Lobster Box. I wore huge sunglasses at the table a la Minnie Moore and gave myself frequent, silent pep talks about how I didn't actually need to puke (I did). Fashion wasn't exactly top of mind.

Lorelai, who got wasted and performed her "Coyote Ugly" bar dance last year, has no excuse for this seizure-inducing monstrosity.

And why is it so short? She can barely lift her arms without midriff exposure.

I am reserving my judgment since Sookie is on bed rest, but don't think for a second that I somehow missed this truly chaotic fringed unicorn poncho.

Is it made of terrycloth? This looks like a DIY project gone wrong.

Most irritating Rory or Lorelai moment:
Rory's "I'm a Gilmore" rant proves that her transformation into classist asshole is complete. I was sympathetic when Shira (Leann Hunley) and Grandpa Huntzberger (George Coe) treated her like trash at dinner, but she completely lost me with this disgusting display of elitist judgement:

Rory: I mean, I’m a Gilmore! Do they know that? My ancestors came over on the Mayflower!
Logan: Don’t try to analyze it, there’s no rhyme or reason!
Rory: I had a coming out party! I went to Chilton, and Yale, and why are they okay with Josh? I mean, he doesn’t even say anything! At least I noticed the Velázquez!

So ... if she didn't have white legacy family status, it would be okay for them to treat her horribly? Josh deserves scorn for failing to comment on the Velázquez? I understand why she's insulted but wish she didn't immediately channel her rage into some kind of upper class pissing contest.

Lorelai doesn't do anything even half as egregious. She calls Luke in a panic when she realizes that no one can cover dinner for Sookie at the Dragonfly, but 🤷🏼‍♀️ I would have totally done the same thing. I hope Luke pays Caesar well because he's frequently left alone at the diner any time Lorelai needs rescuing.

The episodes where Luke remains likable are few and far between.

Number of times Rory or Lorelai treat their bff like shit:
Lorelai is actually pretty chill as pregnant Sookie steadily spirals into madness. (Every pregnant woman in Stars Hollow is batshit, remember?) Bitch straight-up lies about reviewing resumes from the Culinary Institute for her temporary replacement. Does she somehow think that she'll be able to pop out a baby in a few hours and immediately go back to running a kitchen? She's also horrible to Luke, who she doesn't seem to recognize is doing her a massive favor by filling in at the last minute. Were I in Lorelai's position, I would have absolutely treated Sookie like shit because she is insufferable/deserves it.

Lane isn't in this episode, and Paris is too busy playing Doyle nurse (via Nanny, which we will discuss later) to interact much with Rory.

Best literary or pop culture references:
When Paris hears about Logans' newfound commitment to Rory, she exclaims, "I don’t believe it! You did it, you landed the whale. You’re Annette Bening." I don't know why Bening's story is so impressive or interesting to the media. In pop culture, there is this weird obsession with perennial bachelor types who eventually settle down, get married, and have families. Warren Beatty, George Clooney, and Hugh Grant are a few men who immediately come to mind. Celebrity gossip rags get off on this idea that all it takes is a unicorn of a woman to convince certain men that a conventional life is best. It's gross, and I wish this "news" was reported on with less of a carefully framed moral judgement.

This photo was taken before Beatty's "La La Land" flub at the 2017 Academy Awards.

Stars Hollow weirdness:
Kirk wakes up at the Gilmore residence with a candy hangover (c/o Abba-Zabas) and chases it with a hair of the dog Pop-Tart. All of the other townies are absent.

Sharpest insult or one-liner:
Unabashedly bitchy Michel is my favorite Michel. After answering a call from Sookie at the inn, he passes the phone over to Lorelai.

Michel: It's for you. It's Sookie. She's done with her doctor's appointment.
Lorelai: Oh, did she say how she is?
Michel: Mm, to someone who may have asked her, I'm sure she would have.

Never change, Michel. Be a contrarian little motherfucker forever, please.

Books mentioned/books Rory is reading:
You know the drill ... books are just set dressing at this point in the show. Paris has a poster from the 2004 ACLU Freedom Concert that features banned books, like "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Lord of the Flies." When Sookie is on bed rest, she has a stack of cookbooks from the Barefoot Contessa — "Barefoot Contessa Family Style: Easy Ideas and Recipes That Make Everyone Feel Like Family" and "Barefoot in Paris" — on her coffee table, along with M.F.K. Fisher's "As They Were," and a few others that I can't identify.

Best song of the episode:
There's only one! Logan listens to Sparks' "Suburban Homeboy" as he reads the newspaper like some kind of proper adult. Part of me feels like this song is an accurate representation of him ("I am a suburban homeboy/And I say "yo dawg" to my detailing guy"), but Logan never really fronts like he's anything other than a preppy rich white guy. I wouldn't put a pathetic attempt at chumminess with service people past him, though.

Thoughts:
After a few months (?) of pretending to be totally chill with casual dating, Rory serves Logan the ultimatum that we all knew was coming: commit or continue banging randoms with reckless abandon. She denies that it's an ultimatum when he calls her out on it, but it's very clear that he has assessed the situation correctly. During Rory's brief visit, Logan receives a call from Cassandra and a visit from an unnamed woman (Tracey McCall) who wants him to buy her lunch. Despite all of this female interest and a historical lack of monogamy, Logan immediately agrees to be Rory's boyfriend. Yet again, this show reminds us that Rory is special and not like other girls.

Any woman who fucks with two competing argyles is clearly crazy.

After she and Logan agree to exclusivity and return from a celebratory lunch, Honor (Devon Sorvari) is waiting in Logan's room. Rory assumes that she's yet another one of his casual hookups but — plot twist — Honor is his sister. I come from a family of cold people who never hug each other, so maybe I'm the weird on here, but it does seem like there's an odd amount of physical affection between Honor and Logan; I understand why Rory would make assumptions.

Honor is there to tell Logan about her engagement to some man named Josh (Michael Albala) and to request his presence at their parents' house the following night where she plans to announce the news. Logan might not have any boyfriend experience, but years of watching "Who's the Boss?" have prepared him for this moment. He immediately invites Rory to meet his parents and even introduces her to Honor as his girlfriend! I love that Logan's huge, character-altering shift is his promise to stop boning hundreds of women. The nurses at the Yale medical center are going to be very surprised when Logan isn't in for his weekly STD test.

In preparation for dinner at the Huntzbergers, Rory heads back to Stars Hollow for a dress that suits old money conservatives. While there, she confesses to Lorelai, who witnessed the previous night's drunken sobbing over Logan's unreturned calls, that they are now boyfriend and girlfriend. Aside from making a tasteful joke about becoming Hugh Grant's "hooker," Lorelai keeps her mouth shut per Rory's request. Were I in her position, I'm not sure that I could have stopped myself from detailing all the red flags. One of the hardest parts of parenting must be letting your kid make their own questionable decisions without interference.

I actually love this dress for Rory. It's perfect for the occasion.

The vibe that night is tense as hell, which everyone takes as disapproval for the impending engagement announcement. Shira, who is dressed in all white like a castoff Nancy Meyers character, half-assedly attempts some small talk with Rory but never once seems legitimately interested. Grandpa lets his permanent stank face do the talking for him. Josh looks like he's minutes away from a full-blown anxiety attack. Everyone silently sips drinks and waits for Mitchum (Gregg Henry) to arrive until a maid delivers a message on a tray, detailing his delayed arrival. These people are so fucking rich that they only communicate with the help via handwritten note. If you directly converse with a maid it might humanize them, and who would want that?

As everyone sits down to dinner, Grandpa can no longer hold his tongue. He starts rambling on about "unsuitable people marrying into this family," and it doesn't take long for everyone to realize that he's not talking about Josh. All of this weird hostility is because of Rory. Shira notes that it "isn’t at all about her mother," but that Rory's work ambitions wouldn't leave her enough time for ... whatever rich wives who don't work are forced to handle. Attending charity events, managing servants, working out for 4 hours per day to maintain a body that their husbands deem desirable? Honor isn't the heir to the Huntzberger family fortune, so no one cares about who she marries but Logan's mere decision to date exclusively invites this cavalcade of scrutiny. His attempt to keep things casual now makes a lot of sense.

I can't wait for her delicious takedown via Emily Gilmore in S6.

To his credit, Logan tells his family to get fucked before storming off with Rory. They briefly run into Mitchum, who pretends to have no idea why they're leaving so suddenly, on their way out the door. Rory's gives him a plaintive "it was nice to meet you" before slinking away. As this is apparently the first time she's ever dealt with disapproval, Rory is simultaneously outraged and ashamed. She goes into "I'm a Gilmore" defensive mode while Logan fumes. I don't blame him for a second when he drops Rory off at her dorm. I would need some time to cool off after that shitty family interaction, too.

After Logan leaves, Rory assumes he's rethinking the relationship and immediately calls Lorelai for emotional support. The tough love she avoided earlier is rapidly dispensed, with Lorelai advising that "If he's going to bolt, maybe you should let him bolt." Of course, Logan shows up and apologizes immediately after Lorelai says her piece. Rory is once again blissfully obsessed and her mom is left to feign faux support. At the end of the episode, Mitchum shows up at the Yale newsroom and offers Rory an internship at a Stamford paper to compensate for his family's bad behavior. Saul can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like Rory could have gotten something better on her own. Shouldn't someone with her ambitions and Ivy League pedigree apply to intern at bigger/more prestigious papers? Regardless, she accepts the internship and cements her imminent identity crisis.

Prepare to doubt everything about yourself in just a few short weeks.

Lorelai's storyline revolves around Sookie's bed rest prescription and Luke's brief chef stint at the inn. It pisses me off that we see Luke make high class shit like lamb chops, duck, and fennel salad, but are supposed to believe that he's never even eaten lobster in S6. He is an A+ boyfriend in this episode, putting up with Sookie's insane behavior like a champion and even pulling out some rudimentary Spanish to effectively communicate with the kitchen staff. He almost breaks after dumb fuck Jackson threatens him, but then remembers how his relationship with Lorelai prevents him from true retaliation.

Another notable B story is Doyle and Paris' relationship status upgrade. It turns out that he was just sick, not ghosting her. When she returns to Yale after her weekend in Stars Hollow, Doyle is in "dying" in her bed (which checks out because we know he lacks boundaries). Instead of taking care of him herself like a conscientious pre-med student, Paris calls in her Portuguese nanny for reinforcements. To get this level of service, I assume that Paris is holding her children hostage. Nanny eventually coaxes Doyle to sleep and ends up buffing Rory's shoes because "The woman doesn’t tire. She’s a machine." Get this woman a labor lawyer, stat. Paris is well on her way to getting sued like Emily Gilmore.

I hope this happiness is fake and that Nanny is working on her lawsuit.

Random observations:

  • Lorelai's order from Tito's includes hard and soft tacos; curly, straight, and spicy fries; a beef burrito for Rory. The last time I was hungover at my parents' house (in college), they made me wake up early to clean window screens. In this instance, I prefer the Lorelai Gilmore style of parenting. The same day, Rory orders a "mashed potato, mac and cheese, biscuit, gravy plate combo" while out to lunch with Logan. Sounds about right.
  • Paris' attack on the pretzel cart required police backup 😂
  • According to Rory, Lorelai once wore a rhinestone penis shirt to Friday night dinner and Emily had her car towed. Yet another scene I desperately wish we had gotten to see ...
  • This is a good moment:
  • Would someone as wealthy as Logan really have a non-friend roommate named Lanny (Sean Riblett)?
  • I always wondered if this episode title was a nod to "GG" director Jamie Babbit's awesome film, "But I'm a Cheerleader" (1999).
  • This episode makes me nostalgic for the days when there was money in print journalism. I can't imagine Mitchum seamlessly transitioning over to digital.
  • The Huntzberger mansion and Madeline's Party are both shot at the Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills.
  • If you didn't already know that Logan was a douche, please note that he drives a Porsche Cayenne.