'Gilmore Girls' Season 4, Episode 18: Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

'Gilmore Girls' Season 4, Episode 18: Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!

Directing and writing credits:
"Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!" is written and directed by Daniel Palladino. I don't have any news about him specifically, but S3 of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" drops on December 6, just in time for my holiday-induced depressive spiral. Mark your calendars!

Most batshit crazy outfit:
In the opening scene, Lorelai sports another bedazzled cross charm, this time dangling from a choker. At Yale, Rory wears a t-shirt with some random French phrase that I can't make out underneath a gross, brown hoodie. The real all-star is Taylor, who returns from the Caribbean with a sadly blended toupee.

How many sweaters does one man need to wear at a time?

Most irritating Rory or Lorelai moment:
I'm not shocked that Rory chooses to blame Lindsay for Dean's decision to take time off school. Instead of realizing that he has agency over his own life but is just a moron, it's much easier to blame his wife. This is great foreshadowing for S6.

Number of times Rory or Lorelai treat their bff like shit:
Nada. Rory helps Lane with her grocery shopping at Doose's, although I should note that she talks about herself the entire fucking time. We rarely see Rory have a conversation with Lane where she asks her questions and acts like an engaged friend. Most of the time, it seems like she uses Lane as a warm body to have around while she spews her narcissistic non-problems.

Sookie's appearances are brief enough that Lorelai doesn't have a proper chance to treat her horribly.

Best literary or pop culture references:
I laughed at "We've got the Dennis Kucinich of bookcases," but honestly don't remember enough about him to know why that's funny. I guess the joke is that he fits nowhere, including the recesses of my memory.

Stars Hollow weirdness:
Everyone makes fun of Taylor's wig, including Mrs. Cassini (Pat Crawford). He hardly seems to care because the entire town smells like trash thanks to Kirk's Easter egg hunt tomfoolery. My favorite moments of this B story are when Luke saves the day (what a mensch), and Taylor offers a very generous discount to the egg hunting volunteers: 5% off everything in the prepared food section and 20% off day-old sushi.

Kirk's egg-hunting outfit is v cute + I love Joe's look of disgust.

Sharpest insult or one-liner:
Emily is a stone-cold biiiiiitch when she talks about Bob Sutton's wife. Her insults aren't particularly sharp, but I'm in the type of mood where I'm okay with awarding points for blind, judgmental hatred.

Emily: Her car looks just like Barbie's.
Richard: Regardless, I hope you will be kind to her at dinner.
Emily: I'll have to bring my English-to-dumbbell dictionary.

Books mentioned/books Rory is reading:
Shakespeare's "Richard III" and "Macbeth" are mentioned, but Rory is too busy fantasizing about Dean's dick to do any actual reading.

Best song of the episode:
Lorelai and Jason get drunk to "My Honey's Lovin' Arms" by Robert Mitchum. It's a weird choice, but better than "Windy," the song Rory is listening to when Dean runs out in front of her car.

Richard Gilmore is not a good person, and this episode is proof. What kind of reckless narcissist goes into business with the son of an ex-employer and puts their own pension up as collateral? Anyone who hears Floyd Stiles (Lawrence Pressman) talk for more than one minute can tell he's a conniving little bitch with no moral compass. Even though he's in insurance, the dullest business I can possibly think of, he still says things like, "It's life and death, what we do. It's a new drama every day -- almost Shakespearean." The way he fucks people over is pretty Shakespearean, I'll give him that, but the insurance business ... 🤔

"GG" doesn't really give us much visual pizazz or deviation, but it's smart how Palladino bookmarks the drama with golfing. In the 5th scene of the episode, Richard is happy to be out with Jason and Bob (Bob Morrisey), their new business partner. His tiny company is thriving and he seems to like both men. When the trio runs into Floyd Stiles, he expresses interest in a dinner with Richard and Emily that sets everyone into a tizzy. The initial supposition is that if Floyd is pursuing Richard socially, it must be because he recognizes and respects his success.

"Why can't businessmen do deals over air hockey? I am great at air hockey."

Of course, this isn't remotely accurate. Floyd wants an excuse to bring everyone together because he's a sociopath who thrives on confrontation. In one fell swoop, he reveals that he's suing Richard and Jason. They threaten to fight back, but Floyd knows their hands are tied because of Richard's pension. This whole time, Floyd has had a private investigator following Jason, trying to prove that he's violated the non-compete agreement he signed after leaving. Unfortunately, this PI also reported on Jason and Lorelai's secret romance, a bomb that Floyd drops very casually before exiting the Gilmore residence with Carol (Catherine McGoohan), his wife and maybe accomplice (she certainly didn't seem surprised when things ended abruptly).

After shit hits the fan, Jason promises Richard that he hasn't done anything wrong and will rectify the situation.

Jason: And I will do anything to win back your trust, Richard. You have been so good to me. Please ... let me try.
Richard: Okay. You've got my trust. Go get him.

Later, he and Lorelai reconvene at his apartment with a large bottle of vodka (Ciroc, natch). It's obvious that this is the end of their relationship. Richard and Emily would never accept them as a couple after being lied to repeatedly and then sued. This isn't Jason's last appearance, but he's as good as gone. It doesn't matter how many hours he devotes to improving his golf game. By the episode's final scene, Richard has already decided to fuck him over by kicking his ass to the curb and going back into business with Floyd. Who knew the insurance business was so savage? Maybe Floyd was right?

I'd play drunk "charades" with these two.

Rory's storyline greatly depresses me. Lorelai and Sookie have purchased a bookshelf for the inn that somehow doesn't fit anywhere. Dean brings it to Rory, who likewise has no place for it in her dorm room. While he's there, the two talk and he reveals that he's going to take a "little break" from school. He and Lindsay want a townhouse and need to save some money, so whatever ... It's just temporary. Rory freaks out and yells at him, saying that it's a mistake and construction work is beneath him. Is it, Rory? Is it really? He leaves in a huff and Rory presumably spends the rest of the night pouting.

During her Doose's shopping trip with Lane, she bitches nonstop about how ridiculous she finds Dean's decision. Rory acts like going to college is the only option, which is pretty shortsighted considering Lane's situation. Since we never hear about it again, I assume she dropped out of Seventh-day Adventist college after leaving Mrs. Kim's. As they shop for Melba toast and other economical treats, Rory tells Lane, "It's such a waste. Dean is so smart. He can do so much more." How is Lane not annoyed by this? She's a much better person than I am.

After complaining loudly in a tiny store, Rory is flummoxed when she runs into Lindsay, who has clearly heard everything. The most damning line Rory utters is, "I mean, why doesn't she get a job. What does she do all day?" Yikes. Maybe Lindsay is one of those lucky chicks with a trust fund and never has to work a day in her life. Maybe she's applying for jobs but hasn't found the right one yet. What's it to you, Rory? Maybe spend some time complaining about DEAN instead of blaming Lindsay for all of his decisions that you find disagreeable.


The most disgusting part of the whole ordeal is that after Lindsay overhears this mean girl nonsense, she reasonably asks Dean to stop talking to Rory. Instead of abiding by her wishes, he runs in front of Rory's car, drags her into an alley (by the side door of Sandy's Florist), and apologizes. He tells her that he doesn't want to stop seeing her and puts out strong "I really want to kiss you" vibes. The whole thing is vomit-inducing. Where's the Rory I liked from E17? That bitch is dead.

Random observations:

  • Where did all the anvils go? Does anyone know?
  • After their round of golf, Jason and Richard come back to the Gilmore residence to a nice tray of sandwich fixings. Can Emily be my wife? Scratch that ... Can I be rich enough to have a maid?
  • Who makes Taylor's cardigans? I would buy one.
  • Jason gets a pothos (header illustration c/o Sanny van Loon), one of the most difficult plants to kill. He probably could put it in a dark corner, leave for 2 months without watering it, and it would still be fine.
  • Jason's cream mock turtleneck was also in contention for "most batshit crazy outfit." This is the second time he's worn it. It doesn't look that bad in this picture, but trust me ...
  • Notable items spotted in Dooses's: Baby Bottle Pops (prominent display), Pepperidge Farm lemon spritzers (I used to love these), Carnation hot chocolate, and large plastic jugs of Twix at the checkout counter.
  • Taylor's order at Luke's: a turkey sandwich on rye, lettuce, tomato, and cucumber with coleslaw and 2 pickles.
  • Floyd's gin of choice is Tanqueray No. Ten.
  • It's weird that Richard comes outside with drinks and casually tells Rory that he left her soda inside. Okay ... but why?
  • Elsa is the Gilmores' maid of the hour.
  • The weird little golf club swirl that Richard and Floyd do at the end of the episode is like something out of a musical. It brings me joy.
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